I am so furious this day. Someone just (indirectly) disgrace me with his mouthful words. That thing made me sad and I spent my whole day crumbling. Maybe that is a good sign from God, but I still had a problem with that. I am not ‘mature’ enough to face that kind of problem.
Prolog in Sad Day
Maybe half of this population will angry at me, but I don’t really care about that. Bigger problem is, someone I adore, or at least I will face that particular person everyday just discouraging me. It is true that we shall not be a talkies like an aunty, but human was designed to be social, sir.
He was like “So what’s the problem right now?” and I told him my biggest concern, the conversation gone smooth until he tries to preach me. I have no problem with that, it was true. But my heart can’t accept that, and utterly I said, “What about her being Admin?”
Shocked. He replied, “It can’t be. Why do you so hate her?” Loudly, and everyone can hear it. If there’s any knife around, I’ll ask him to stab me instead. Na, I don’t hate that person, I just don’t like her words. It is hurtful to realize your capability is not good enough while she has. But anyway, that’s it. His awkward assumption made my world crumbling.
What I did in my Sad Day
Today is the most wicked act I ever did. I bought a name tag from Braun Buffel, which cost more than 70% my savings account. Felt half regret because I can use that money to something more important than that, but I was sad… and that’s one of way I can get away with.
My friend text me, asked where I am, answered accordingly but she refused to join my sorrow. Another reason, which I found today, after lunch is: my contract is still not safe even the budget owner is craving for me. I really hope that virtuous advisor can look at the mail (or junk, sometimes it arrived there). I was questioning again, do I deserve such position? Do I really good one? You know, having Voldie in your team somehow a burden.
Dear Voldie, I am not asking for your heart, I just asking for your kind. I don’t mind to be single all time, to eat alone, but please we shall cooperate during ‘our time’ there. Oh ya, I forgot to mention I will have contract as long as his, but just merely a month different.
My Perspective about this Case
It is natural for human to like or dislike, but it is not natural for a person to shout out and let other people down. Even it is for betterment, you shall do it privately. We can’t detach our value as socials people, so bear with it. I talk, you talk, even scarier than me.
Dear Voldie, I can keep this rant a whole night, but I have to catch up something to amuse my self. No one can amuse me, unless you bought me couple of meals, oops, sorry, I just decline your invitation to have lunch together, right?
My life as an intern in these 5 months really full of hurdles, but you’re the one I can’t deal with, you’re the one I crave yet I want to kill. I love you like I want to kill you, or vice versa. I adore you as a smart human being, but I have you for being jokester. Either you felt guilty or not, you shall not do that again to me. Well, unless you’re gay… I can understand that. (fan)